really sorry to my class for not following you all to bugis today...

was troubled by some things....

Anywayz, I got my angel costume already... Its not those big big wings, but... umm.. faerie wings?.. and a silvery sparko halo thingie...

Its like mega girly lah...

but... who cares. I'm not a normal guy.
(P.S. : To marcus who has been trying to shorten my "size" by a hell lot, I'm much more NORMAL in that aspect huh.)

umm.. ok... anywayz... had a really bad afternoon..

Presentation was horrific... I thought I was prepared to answer questions like "what is ATOM feed and XML feed?" or "how does Haloscan work?" or "What would drive people to your blog?"

but... apparantly, that wasn't the case...

ok.. I shall not brood about that topic....


At about 5:15 today, Andrew's insecurity clockwork twirled into motion and threw him into a depression again.
The mathematics all seemed to work against everything...

He. Him. Together.
Time. Trust. Test.
True. Tears.

Anwayz, to cut things short, I cried for a hell long time in the Starbucks at Scotts.

I havn't cried so much for so long... My shoulders were shaking and.. my digital fortress book got kinda soaked..

There were 2 boys beside me doing homework... One of the whispered quite audibly, in chinese, "This is the first time in real life I have seen a person in blazer, tie and business shirt cry."




"i need time to think.. I need my own space."

Usually, this is the sign of the end of a relationship... when a person doesn't want you in his space anymore, and when he thinks that you're an irritance...

I was crushed... It was like a break up statement to me...


So my heart hung on a rope for 3 hours, till I decided that I should call him and get the clear message...


Dominic... well,.... I kinda cried over the phone... (guess he didnt tell).....

I gave him a clear outline of why I'm insecure, my rational for being so and what aggrevates it....

I hope he truly understands now..


No. we're not going to break up...

no.... we're not...


but the hurt that i went through today was the deepest cut i ever experience in my entire life...

no... he didnt do anything wrong today....

Its just that I mapped out my insecurities, and finally saw why I was becoming more and more insecure...



but through my thought processes... I realized that Dominic is not a normal person to me.
If anybody else did that to me, I'd most likely declare him my enemy for life.

But, everything reversed, I clung onto Dominic tighter then ever.... hoping that everything I'm thinking is just a terible lie..

Its because I love him.

I love Dominic. For the hundredth time on this blog.... There has never been any name mentioned so many times on my blog before..

Its because I love him..

People say they envy Dominic. For having such a loyal boyfriend.

They don't understand that you're my last one.
They don't understand how much I love you.
They don't understand the sacrifices I would do for you...

Dominic... I was not serious when I said I wanted to test you...
There was only one test...

and that was the test of interference...

You passed it coz you allowed me to... and thats all...



So... I'm going to let you go...
Like the free bird that you always were...

I'll still love you the same, like always...

But with the trust..

You're free to do whatever you want.... I.. won't interfere anymore unless you want me to...


Be true to me, as I have always been true to you.
Love me, as I have always loved you.

For the last time, I'll go against my intuition and trust you in everything you do...

I promise. I'll try hard. I'll try my best...

You have to understand....